Mom vs the IRS

Mom vs the IRS

Some of you have been asking about a story about my mom, well here is one that you might like. It happened years ago so like my "Uncle Buck" once said "I probably told you more than I heard". Also, I like to fish so I am bound to stretch the tail a little.

My Mom was born and raised in the Arkansas Delta. Went to high school in a small town and college in Arkansas. She met my father and got married and had three children. My mom always wanted to be a housewife and have kids. She took care of us and my father, kept the house, raised a garden, had chickens, all the things a country housewife would have and do. My dad taught school and had a small farm where we lived. The house and farm were within a quarter mile where she lived growing up and belonged to my grandfather till my dad bought it. It was a small farm and house, and we moved there when I was six months old and that is where my mom still lives.

My dad’s farming operation got larger and larger, to the point he could quit teaching and dedicate his energy to farming full time. My mom was a full-time mother and housewife because that is what she wanted out of life.

A farmer’s income would change drastically from year to year. It depended on how well you kept your expenses down, what the grain market was doing, also if Mother Nature gave you a break during the year and gave you the right amount of rain when you needed it.

As the farm got larger my dad was working hard to show a profit and as the years went by it would draw attention to the IRS. My family had an accountant who would take care of any audits until the year he called my dad, and the audit wanted to know why my mom was worth what she was getting paid.

Now my mom didn't drive any equipment, but she did do other things. If we needed a part and we were all busy, we could place a call to the parts store, and she would go and pick the part up and bring it to us. During the spring planting she would cook lunch for the crew, and we would stop just long enough to eat and go back to work. She did the same thing during fall harvest and once she even cooked a full turkey dinner because we were trying to finish before the weather turned so we were working on Thanksgiving. In other words, whatever we needed done and she was able to help she did.

When my dad told my mom about the IRS, he said not to worry he would have the accountant send the letter. My mom had that look on her face. You know the one, it was like the one she gave to us when she was going to tell us to go find a switch. This face was different, when she looked at us, she was mad, but her feelings were hurt. This one was a "fire and brimstone" pissed off. In a calm voice she told my dad she would write a letter and for him to give it to Carl, our accountant, and for him to send it along with his information to the IRS. She went into the bedroom; we could hear her getting out paper and a pen and begin writing. I know how Moses felt when he was watching God write the ten commandments. Don't get me wrong, my mom is not God but what she was writing meant someone was going to get an ass chewing. My dad did as she requested, and Carl sent the letter with other information to the IRS. The IRS did send my mom a letter thanking her for detailing her duties on the farm and to this day they never questioned her again. The letter wasn't written on a stone tablet, but I bet they could feel the fire and smell the brimstone on the words of what she was telling them. Unlike the ten commandments no one but the IRS knew what was written.